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01 April 2009 @ 07:44 pm
Ats - Surrender - PG (Lilah/Wes)  
Title: Surrender
Author: dreamincolor
Fandom: Ats
Pairing: Lilah/Wesley
Genre: Romance/Dark
Rating: PG
Highlight for Warnings/Spoilers: **implied character death**
Summary: Her name on his tongue has a terribly familiarity.
Word Count: 1292
Disclaimer: Joss wins.

Beta'd by: the amazing deird1, who's help is invaluable. (-tackle smooch-)
A/N: For prompt #27, "more than life itself", of my table.


Three knocks. Solid, but not loud.

Lifting her head from her pillow and freeing herself from the sheets - tangled tight around her legs from sleepless tossing - it was mere moments before Lilah was peering out through the keyhole at a familiar face.

“Lover.” Lilah’s voice left her in a purr as she swung the front door open, hand on her hip, and a smile on her lips.

Wesley’s eyes traveled up and down her body shamelessly, up over bare legs, and along the sheer, clinging curves of her nightgown. Reflexively, she smirked.

She loved it when he came to her.

“Lilah.” He greeted her with a slow smile, his frame outlined in hesitant, dim moonlight, creeping in from a window down the hall.

“You know,“ she glanced at her watch, raising a brow, “I did only get home from work an hour ago. I have to sleep sometime.”

His face seemed strangely relaxed; void of the usual scowl, but not of the usual hunger. As they moved over her again, his eyes were nothing if not predatory. “May I?”

“May you come in?” She leaned against the door frame with a leisurely smile, slowly giving him the up-down. He’d been out fighting. Dark jeans, and a shirt torn at the hip, exposing a glimpse of pale skin.

More rugged than his usual. She liked.

“Wesley, are you asking permission?” She raised an eyebrow suggestively, drawing the game out. “That’s a first.”

“Lilah,” His hand reached out to touch her fingers, looped out around the door frame. His skin was shockingly cold. “Invite me in.”

She smiled, something low in her stomach clenching in anticipation. She hadn’t seen him in over twenty-four hours.

Taking his hand, she pulled..

..but he didn’t budge.

His palm flattened against the air in the doorway, as if blocked by an invisible piece of glass. An invisible door.

She jerked away instantly, stumbling several feet backwards, and he only watched her, through those unnaturally bright eyes.

“Wesley..” Something inside her twisted painfully, and her voice sharpened, high and strained. “What happened to-”

“I slipped.“ Two scabs spotted dark at his throat, easily deep enough to scar. “Clearing out a nest. It was only a moment, just a single, wrong move..”

Jerking the drawer beside her open, Lilah’s hand fumbled until it closed around the handle of a pistol. Then, after a second’s thought, abandoned it in favor of a wooden cross.

“Lilah..” His eyes were as earnest as they’d ever been. “Please, invite me in.”

Hissing in disbelief - how stupid did he think she was - she held out the cross protectively in front of her. “Wesley, I don’t want to die.”

“Lilah, come here,” he coaxed, trying to ease her past the invisible barrier between them. “Give me your hand.”

She took a somewhat shaky step forward, lips pursed and the cross held out firmly in front of her, jabbing it forward enough to make him recoil. “Get away from me.”

Pulling back, he watched her through quiet eyes, his body shrinking down and away like something harmless and small, eyes full of what he must have hoped looked like sincerity.

“Lilah,” her name on his tongue had a terribly familiarity, “I only want-”

“Stop it. You’re a horrible liar, Wesley, not even death can change that.” Something inside her continued to ache and twist, and she shoved the cross out closer to him, throat tightening. “Get out of my hall.”

“You can invite me in, Lilah,” she watched his face harden subtly, eyebrows bowing down as his body straightened out, “and this can be something gentle and careful, something you chose. Something you enjoy.” Lilah cringed at the suggestion, but couldn’t shake the sudden surge of memory - of Angel kissing her ferociously on his office desk, licking and nibbling down her jaw and throat with an urgent hunger, until she could feel his teeth sinking down into her, penetrating her -

A memory that had made its way into her darker dreams.

“Or,” his eyes were unwavering, “I can catch you on your way to your car, or meeting a client for dinner.“ Her lips pursed in what she hoped resembled anger, but her shaking hands and sharp inhale were a giveaway, and he pressed on, “You can be born here, or I can take you in some filthy alleyway.” He stepped forward, and instinctively she started to step back.

No. She was safe behind the threshold. He would not scare her.

“-with bones snapping and blood spilling, and the beauty of it getting lost in the struggle..”

She was not shaking. She was not holding her breath.

“Or we can be here, like always. Just us -”

At his sides his hands opened towards her. Those beautiful, talented hands.

“- and I can give you something precious.”

Her voice left her in a low whisper, one that was softer than she might have liked. “Death.”

“Immortality. Power.” He paused long enough to let his lips tilt up in a small smile, “Companionship.”

She tried to speak, but her lips parted soundlessly.

He was lying, toying with her. This wasn’t the morally bound man she knew; this man - this thing - could pull her apart without a second’s remorse. This thing only wanted a meal.

“You and I, Lilah, bringing LA to its knees. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?”

She wasn’t safe. Not here - it wouldn’t take him long to find some way around the invitation - and certainly not at work. Angel had proved Wolfram & Hart’s penetrability only too many times.

And Wesley was much smarter than Angel had ever been.

“Wes-” Her voice shuddered with an uncharacteristic frailty as he stepped forward, his hands closing around the wooden tip of the cross she still held out in front of her - that extended just slightly past the doorway.

And she watched his knuckles whiten - if that was really possible - as his grip tightened; and as at what had to be instant pain, with his undead-palms pressed to sanctified wood, his face morphed into something ridged and demonic. Something animal.

And his now golden eyes fixed on hers, hypnotic.


The beast with her lover’s face leaned in close to the doorway, as close as possible without crossing the threshold; and she suddenly realized that she too was leaning forward, close enough that she could feel her own breath bouncing back off his lips and the motion of his fingertips hovering and moving the air over her extended wrist. Something inside her ached painfully as she weighed the alternative - envisioned a hired hand hunting him down - plunging a stake into his heart, turning him to dust.

Envisioned herself without him.

And if he wasn’t lying, if he meant what he said, and that hunger in his eyes - that need - was for more than blood..

Then he was ready to let himself possess her fully, and completely. Permanently.


His voice hit against her lips in an unneeded breath, a reminder of the mere inches between them, but it wasn’t until he whispered her name a second time, in a gentler, more intimate tone, that she realized she’d squeezed her eyes shut. Slowly, she opened them again -- this time greeted by the face she knew, ridge-less and smooth. Human.

Lilah’s lips parted again wordlessly, and in response his mouth slighted in the smallest of smiles, familiar eyes pleading with her.

And she couldn’t help but reach out just a few centimeters past the threshold, her fingertips skimming along his jaw line, her thumb brushing over his bottom lip.


The cross hit the floor with a clatter.

“Come in.”

The Mezzaninedeird1 on April 2nd, 2009 07:44 am (UTC)
Well, you already know I love this...

Favourite lines:
She was not shaking. She was not holding her breath.

Those beautiful, talented hands.

The cross hit the floor with a clatter.

Gorgeous, hon. *smooches*
writing 'bout big damn heroes: Lilah - upsetdreamincolor on April 2nd, 2009 07:46 am (UTC)
I love it when your favorite lines are my favorites, too.

Thanks so much hunny, for everything. You're a dream. -smooches and smothers-
Lilah Morgannotquitegood on April 2nd, 2009 01:43 pm (UTC)
This is just fantastic! I love it :-D I can't wait for more. Dark Vamp Wes rocks! Oh by the way did you get my email?
writing 'bout big damn heroes: Wes - studdlydreamincolor on May 16th, 2009 10:14 am (UTC)
Yay, thanks! I'm so glad you liked it. :D Vamp!Wes is fun, isn't he? I may have to write more of him..

My net has been on and off for the last few months (hence my LJ going almost completely entry-less) but I shall drop you a line, now that I'm temporarily home, and with good net access. Miss you, silly!

Anywho, thanks again!
Lilah Morgan: What you dreamed oflawyerfor_satan on May 17th, 2009 01:49 am (UTC)
Miss you too!! Ok I'm done with school for the summer now so I'm home all summer and will be online most nights until 1-2am my time. I'm on aim every night after 7pm my time, hope to talk to you soon! :-)
writing 'bout big damn heroes: Lilah - colordreamincolor on May 24th, 2009 01:01 am (UTC)
Sweet, alrighty. Well I'm staying with a friend until next weekend, but after that I should be able to catch you on now and again in the evenings. :)

Lovely icon, by the way!
Lilah Morganlawyerfor_satan on May 24th, 2009 01:42 am (UTC)
ok cool Weds and Thurs I'm off lately so those are the days that are best, but all week those times listed above are good :-) see you soon! thanks :-)
Lilylavastar on April 2nd, 2009 09:05 pm (UTC)

Whoa! Amazing shit there.

I love how the traditional weak!Wes and strong!Lilah roles are reversed. The imagery fills up the piece beyond a simple predicament, making it truly dark and beautiful.
writing 'bout big damn heroes: Lilah - upsetdreamincolor on May 16th, 2009 10:16 am (UTC)
Hee! Thank you! :D

I'm so glad you liked it, and thanks again for the beautiful comment. You've made my night! -squish-
tyna_xtyna_x on April 3rd, 2009 03:32 am (UTC)
agh, you have no idea how much i love thisss<3
it's perfect.
thank youuu<3
writing 'bout big damn heroes: Lilah - upsetdreamincolor on May 16th, 2009 10:17 am (UTC)
My pleasure! I'm so glad you liked it. <3

Lisa: Wilah - B&Wobiwahn on April 6th, 2009 08:13 am (UTC)
*shivers in delight*

That was wonderful! How did I miss this??!!

Guh. Vampire Wes is hot.

Is it wrong that I think him turning Lilah is totally romantic? I mean, the fact that he'd want to sire her and not, say, Fred, is totally awesome. Eternal lovers.


Something inside her ached painfully as she weighed the alternative - envisioned a hired hand hunting him down - plunging a stake into his heart, turning him to dust.

Envisioned herself without him.

That part really got to me. So well written as always. Loved this hun! x
writing 'bout big damn heroes: Lilah/Wes - black whitedreamincolor on May 16th, 2009 10:31 am (UTC)
That was wonderful! How did I miss this??!!

Prooobably because I never cross-posted it.. -looks around shiftily- Forgetful? Me? Naaah..

I'm so glad you did wander across it, though! You crossed my mind more than once while I was writing it.

Guh. Vampire Wes is hot.

Mm.. -purr- He would be, wouldn't he? The universe needs more of him, me thinks.

Is it wrong that I think him turning Lilah is totally romantic? I mean, the fact that he'd want to sire her and not, say, Fred, is totally awesome. Eternal lovers.

Not at all! That was a lot of what I was going for. Originally I'd actually written a part two, where they talk about why he turned her instead of Fred.. but this just seemed to work better as a stand-alone. But yes..eternal lovers. The very idea makes the fangirl in me implode with squee-age.. I'm so glad you liked it too!

That part really got to me. So well written as always. Loved this hun! x

Aw, shucks. You're too sweet. -snug- Thanks for the beautiful comment, hunny! It's much appreciated.

-snugs again, just for good measure-
(Anonymous) on December 28th, 2010 11:48 am (UTC)
It makes sense to me. As a vampire, Wesley would kill Fred. Probably in a nasty way, Angel-style. Take "Billy," turn up the power to eleven. He'd never see Fred as a partner-in-crime, where she was the object of his devotion and admiration before she'd turn into an object of depraved lust to his vampire-self.

His connection with Lilah is deeper, more real by far, and easily capable of surviving such a transition. Moreover, as a vampire all the things that keep him from acknowledging what they have, all the safeguards he has in place to letting himself feel for her, all that vanishes. It's a sad reflection on how messed up they are that I believe Wesley could more easily love her as a vampire than as a souled human being.

I feel sorry for the rest of the AI crew. I have a feeling there will be a lot of death before these two are done with their past.

Another wonderful story, by the way. I loved the way Lilah was smart enough not to be taken in (Some of the Buffy characters could take a lesson in "not inviting vampires" from her) until she chose to risk it. I'm not sure I should find this romantic, but... well... on a certain level I do.

writing 'bout big damn heroes: Lilah - colordreamincolor on December 31st, 2010 12:28 pm (UTC)
Oh - it was certainly written to be romantic. So if you're morbid for thinking so...then so am I!

I actually wrote a sequel to this (which I ended up tossing out because it was mostly smut and violence; in a relaxing-for-me, but relatively-useless, sort of way) that attempted to show how their relationship could evolve once he was free of that pesky conscience.. It also featured a brief discussion on his plans to find and play with Fred, and Lilah's opinion that as long as he had no intention of turning her that it was probably healthy for him to get that "twig-sized Texan" out of his system...in whatever way he could think of.

I could picture vamp Lilah and Wes eventually having a very Darla/Angelus relationship - at least in outward attitude and appearance. Which, like you said, would not bode well for the rest of the AI crew!

Anyway, thanks again for a lovely comment Randall. It's much appreciated. :)

(Deleted comment)
writing 'bout big damn heroes: Lilah - winedreamincolor on September 24th, 2009 02:00 am (UTC)
yourlibrarianyourlibrarian on January 1st, 2010 05:34 pm (UTC)
Here from buffyversetop5
Hmm, Wesley goes evil in a way even Lilah didn't expect. One does wonder how she'd react.